To Those Who Chew With Their Mouth Open

13 May 2021- Greenwich, CT

Dear People Who Chew With Your Mouth Open,

Your actions perpetuate a rhetoric that doesn’t have a place in fine dining. People have spent money to eat at this restaurant. By making a scene at the dinner table, you are killing the vibe of the restaurant and ruin the overall feel of the restaurant. 

An example of this, you may ask? So, here you are… Sitting across from a dinner table with someone with ill manners. Now if that person were to make arguments with food in their mouth, would you listen to them? The short answer for me is probably no. However, I feel that most people would just write off this person instantly as it is not very polite and socially conscious to create a public symphony with a focus on breaking down your food. 

Chewing with your mouth open is also annoying when you are trying to get a task done. If you are at a meeting with a bunch of colleagues and another is chewing food while you are speaking, one could experience trouble thinking over the cacophonic salivating noise. I really do not like it and sometimes even my own chewing annoys me. Which brings me to this.

If you are in a restaurant  and eating food, you should be mindful of the people around you and how your actions may affect others. By opening your mouth during chewing your act of laziness is creating a much louder noise than if you actually closed your mouth. 

All you have to do is close your mouth and all of these problems would be resolved. However, if you or a loved one is an open mouth chewer, there is still time to curb your awful habit. By just simply closing your mouth, you can silence your eating process and look more formal next to your peers. Hopefully, this complaint letter warranted some rational thinking for those of you that ‘Anything Goes’ at the dinner table. The dinner table is not the wild west, it is a place of comfort and a platform for great dialogue. Do not ruin my oasis.



Published by execfunctioning

Michael Melvin is a Writer, Musician, and Advocate. While attending Syracuse University he has been an active member on campus even holding positions in Greek Life and Clubs/Activities on campus. He has recently gained notoriety for his performance at the Wescott Theater, where he played music in a simulacrum which commented on the lack of discourse during the pandemic. Through a global pandemic, Melvin has come out as a resilient persona who questions modern conventions and looks for oppurtunites to adapt to newfound successes.

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